blue eyes -- dream poetry

I'm perpetually fenced-in by myself
Walking through parking lots and down the street
In the dark, I say hello to the people from the outside
Made of gray brick and bathed in an orange glow
They're ready to go
Leaning on cars, drinks in hand
I climb and they watch, stepping over brightly-lit objects that you never look closely at
In my pocket is a cigarette, a prop, and a black lighter
Behind my lips, the door swings shut and I flick once, twice
Immediately the flag ignites purple and goes up in smoke
I inhale to keep from dying out, broken and hard to operate
At the feet of people I know
Push the lighter on the sidewalk
Its my last, but it's irrelevant
Brush my hands against my leg and continue, ignoring the rest
In a quiet neighborhood of dark houses and swinging instruments
I hear my name called from an alley of white walls and cold tile floors
Behind blue sound-proof cushions is a burnt out shell, a pile of debris, and barbed wire.
They tell me I'm late
I can't talk, so I slip the plastic over my head and wind my hands with it
So I can hold the wire up for my faceless friends
They cry and squeeze through the door, tugging on the sticky handles until they give
As my shirt turns from white to red
I follow, scream when my feet slip in cases and barbs cut into my skin
Larger than the rest with a scratchy surface and a red strap to hold the lid on
They'll take care of me, they say
Grab my hand and squeeze tightly
Can't she feel the blood? Can't she hear the drums?
Through a crack in the door is more darkness
I feel people and hear whispers of "quiet"
"We don't live here, remember that"
Metal prongs take me by the arm and lift me to the tips of my toes
She has red hair and a name that sits on my tongue like cinder blocks
Drag me to the last door on the left, push me in, and lock it
Pack the bags and stare out the low-hanging ceiling
How easy it would be to run
To lift the harness by its padded shoulder straps
And pull it over my head
But I only move to hold everything steady with one foot
While my friends try to pull me away
Beside me are secure blue eyes and all I can do is stare